Managing Grief During the Holidays

The holidays are often described as joyful and heartwarming, but for many people, this time of year brings an ache that is hard to ignore. If you are grieving a loved one, the season of celebration can magnify feelings of sadness, loneliness, and emotional exhaustion. Whether your loss is recent or years old, grief during the holidays can surface unexpectedly and feel especially heavy. 

 

The holidays often heighten emotions for people who are grieving or coping with other mental health challenges. While gatherings and traditions can offer comfort, they can also remind us of who is missing, making it difficult to feel connected or at peace.  

 

Understanding How Grief Shows Up 

Grief is not simple. It is a complex blend of sadness, anger, guilt, and longing, sometimes even mixed laughter that catches you off guard. During the holidays, grief can be triggered by small moments like hearing a familiar song, seeing an old ornament, or noticing an empty seat at the dinner table. 

 

Bereavement affects both emotional and physical health, often disrupting sleep, appetite, and focus. It may also amplify depression or anxiety symptoms. These reactions are normal and do not mean you are grieving incorrectly. Grief is deeply personal, and there is no right way to cope or timeline for healing. 

 

“Grief tends to amplify during the holidays because the season centers on connection and togetherness,” says Patricia Daza, PhD, ABPP, Director of Psychology Services at The Menninger Clinic. “When someone you love is missing, that contrast can make everything feel more painful. Our goal is to help people acknowledge that grief rather than avoid it and find ways to create meaning alongside the loss.” 

 

How to Cope With Grief During the Holidays 

Coping with grief does not mean avoiding it. It means learning how to carry it while still caring for yourself and allowing comfort or connection to coexist with the pain. 

 

1. Give yourself permission to feel it. 
Grief is unpredictable. You might laugh one moment and cry the next. Allowing yourself to feel your emotions without judgment helps the healing process. 

 

2. Adjust traditions to fit your needs. 
It is OK to skip certain gatherings or change traditions based on what makes you most comfortable. Lighting a candle, sharing memories, or setting a place in honor of your loved one can make the day feel more meaningful. 

 

3. Communicate your needs. 
Let friends and family know what kind of support helps you most. You may want to talk about your loss, or you may just need quiet company. 

 

4. Take care of your body. 
Grief can be physically draining. Prioritize resting, eating balanced meals, and moving your body to support your emotional and physical health. 

 

5. Seek connection and professional support. 
Talking with a therapist or joining a grief support group can reduce feelings of isolation. If your grief feels too heavy to manage alone, professional help may make the emotional load a little easier to manage. 

 

How to Support Someone Who Is Grieving 

Even if you are not grieving personally, you may know someone who is. Offering support can feel awkward, especially when you do not know what to say or do. 

 

The American Psychological Association emphasizes that the most effective support comes from empathy, listening, and meaningful action. Trying to “fix” someone’s pain is rarely helpful but showing you care can make an enormous difference. 

 

Here are a few ways to support a friend or family member who is grieving during the holidays: 

• Reach out, even briefly. A short message or call can make a difference. 
• Acknowledge their loss. Saying the loved one’s name or sharing a memory of them shows you remember too. 
• Offer specific help. Instead of “Let me know if you need anything,” try “Can I drop off dinner?” or “Would you like to take a walk?” 
• Respect their needs. Some people want company; others need solitude. Ask, don’t assume. 
• Stay connected beyond the holidays. Grief does not end after the new year. Continued check-ins matter and show you’re thinking about them beyond the holidays. 

Finding Meaning Amid Loss 

While grief changes over time, it never fully disappears. The goal is not to “move on,” but to move forward with love and memory in a way that brings peace instead of pain. 

 

At The Menninger Clinic, our clinicians help people navigate grief, depression, and mental health challenges that require additional support. Through evidence-based treatment, education, and compassionate care, we support individuals and families as they find strength, connection, and hope in the midst of loss. 

 

You do not have to face grief alone. Support is available, and healing can begin at your own pace.